Shaking stereotypes and inspiring others along the way
“I no longer see running as simply a means to weight loss, but a means to finding new accomplishments.”
Ben Crosby, 36, from Weymouth, Massachusetts started running regularly in 2018 before the birth of his first child. He wanted to make positive changes in his life to help him be the best father he could be. The running routine stuck and in 2023 Ben completed the B.A.A. Distance Medley.
Two months out from the 2024 Boston Half and Ben is back in race mode. But just like the hilly course around Franklin Park, Ben’s path to the start line has had its ups and downs.
“I had to work on getting myself to a place of loving and respecting myself for who I am, with all my flaws. Because despite those flaws, I have potential and worth - as we all do. I am worth investing in. When I developed my self-respect, I valued myself more and therefore would compare myself to me, not to others. Running is no longer to prove anything to others, because their opinions are not a factor in my self-worth. This activity is to continue to improve Ben and I am doing this to seek the best version of myself for me and my loved ones. I am doing this because I can achieve more. I am doing this because we put time and effort into growing and improving valuable things – us.
“A big challenge for me is my size and fighting the ever-present demon of comparison. Large individuals are rarely seen as a poster-worthy representation of running. I see images of successful runners and they are fit, petite, skinny, fast, beautiful, and often these representations are not very diverse.
“Weight has always been a struggle for me. I have lost and gained, lost and gained. Learning not to compare myself to those images has been a tough one but thankfully, I have started to see my capabilities and potential, which has helped me grow my consistency and achieve success.”
The physical hurdles for Ben are only part of the challenge.
“If you asked me this a couple of years ago, I would say that the challenge of running is mainly physical. But today, I would say it’s 70% mental and 30% physical. In the past, I would say I couldn’t do long races because my body was not ready to withstand that impact over a long distance. But after completing the Boston Half last November, I realized that with proper training and grit, the physical side was less of a problem. You must learn to tell ourselves we can do more than we think. You’ve got to mentally commit to the hours it takes to prepare and train. You’ve got to learn to quiet the self-doubt during the run, change the self-chatter to words of affirmation, and power through on the knowledge and faith that we can.”
Ben has achieved a goal he never thought possible but isn’t stopping there.
“Without a doubt my biggest running achievement so far is finishing the Distance Medley last year and completing the half marathon in under 3 hours, 10 minutes faster than I thought I would.
“I have now set my sights on 26.2miles. I want my first marathon to be Boston this coming April. I know it is not easy, but I grew up watching it and always wondered if I could. So, I am telling myself that I can, and I will.
“I know this will take effort, grit, determination, sacrifice, coaching, and help. I want it regardless. I want to complete my collection of B.A.A. events!”
Completing the task requires not only hard work and focus from Ben, but the love and support from those around him.
“Achieving my next goal will take a lot of help from my wife, as we have a five and three-year-old at home whose schedules don’t always align with my long training runs.
“I am lucky to have so many supporters. My wife and two kids always show up to support me. My sisters, one of whom rarely misses my races even though she lives eight hours away, and both of whom believe in me and constantly encourage me. My parents, who I run for every time I step on a course. My friend Crary, who ran the medley with me last year to support me. And my fellow Marathon Sports Ambassadors, who make me feel like I belong in this running space.
“I am beginning to train this summer for the Boston Half as a base-building effort. This will leave me in a good place to begin the marathon training cycle in December. I had to miss the 10k due to surgery and have been in sedentary/recovery for about a month so I am starting from scratch, but these goals will help me get back on track. In fact, the half is exactly what I need to get myself back in the running mode and remind me of what I can do.
Ben has learned a lot since taking the first strides in his running journey. He now shares his story on social media and in doing so, helps many others along the way.
“I have learned that by pushing through some fear, we can shatter ceilings that we often create for ourselves.
“I have also learned that balance is important. We have kids, jobs, commitments, partners, spouses, family, fears, and dreams. They all have a piece of us. It is hard to find that right balance and it is okay to struggle with it.
“It is humbling to find out that my story can help somebody else. It is also wildly fulfilling. I want to help all people feel welcome in movement. Whether it’s going to a gym, running, walking, or getting outside, we all deserve to try in a way that makes sense for us. We belong in these places, where we are, at our pace, our authentic selves. The slow runner deserves to step up to that start line just as much as the seasoned fast runner. The overweight person can walk into the gym just like the sculpted lifter.”
Having started running before he became a father, Ben looks forward to sharing the joy with his children.
“I have a dream of one day running a race with my kids. I won’t force them into running… but I can dream.”
To give support and gain inspiration from Ben and his running journey, follow him @a_better_ben and if you’re in the Boston area, come out and support him and thousands of others at the Boston Half on November 10 at Franklin Park.